Youth Ministry: Flames and Flings

We are attempting to do some sex/dating talk with the high school youth group for a few weeks in a series called: “Flames and Flings: A Series on Relationships (and Everything In-Between).” A little crazy, I know (I usually get a shocked response or raised eyebrows from folks). Of course there’s no way to comprehensively cover everything there is to this topic, so we’re going to go fairly general, and hopefully spark some more conversations in the future. The resource I’m drawing from primarily is Kara Powell’s Good Sex 2.0. The layout is easy, and there are so many options for her topics, and each topic is broken up into 3 parts. There is a progression in the topics, but we’re kind of going random and hitting a few of the activities and discussions. Maybe in the future we can be intentional and go through the whole thing. I do agree that it’s important to strip taboo-ness from the topic as much as possible, and give kids a chance to talk and engage it in a safe, healthy space (as opposed to weekend parties and the locker room).

The first Wednesday we broke ice with a “moving survey,” and opened up with a panel discussion giving kids a chance to write down any question about dating, romance, marriage, and sex. The leaders spent most of the time sharing thoughts and experiences…very raw and real. One of our leaders said succinctly that hopefully the kids will walk away at least with an understanding that there is no blueprint to dating/relationships, and that usually it’s very difficult, messy, etc. but we can still shoot for ideal and healthy ones. The second Wednesday we broke ice with “musical body parts,” warmed up with a few more panel questions, but engaged the kids more for their opinions/responses to the written questions, and then separated into guys and girls to talk in general about identity, stereotypes and expectations for each gender. We got back together in a large group, and I ended our time with a spiel about having a healthy grasp of our identity is essential to healthy relationships, and this includes embracing all parts our identity, spiritual, mental, sexual, etc. I emphasized that our identity needs to rooted in God’s perspective of us as his Beloved, and talked about how important it is to be surrounded by a community that helps us know God’s perspective because this shapes our identity (we are the company we keep kinda thing).

Next Wednesday, we end the short short series with some more discussion on high school dating, and all that goes with it, as well as all the kinds of communication that go with it…I won’t be there, but I”m excited to hear how it turns out! And looking forward to future moments like these past ones!

One thought on “Youth Ministry: Flames and Flings

  • February 19, 2010 at 8:25 am
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    There age is so confusing.A glance from the oppusite sex can send them on a low or a high.Its good to get them centered on what is right and healthy .Most of all what thay want and think and how to set a age apporiate enviroment for them.To hear from experience and be guided by good moralictic goals.One time in life i thought i had perfected parentism.I thought her head was on tight.In a heart beat the enviroment almost took her away from us.If i had not been watching every second she would have been not with us now.One and half kids later and working at a hospital getting ready to go to disney,she is doing well.So all the help u have is needed to be given.They need advice to hear ,answers to say back in tough situations and sometimes just to listen.As parents we need all the help we can get.

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