Me and My Mom: A Lesson on Mothers and Daughters

Mom has been here for about three weeks, and will have been here for five weeks by the time she goes home. It’s been super having her here – she came out with my dad the last week of February – and of course, the crazy timing – he ended up missing the babies by a day. I was so glad mom was here though, on the day of the delivery, too, because it was such a treat to watch her become a grandmother. Just like the twins have brought out a whole new dynamic in my relationship with Andy, and in my own identity, it has allowed a different side of her to come to the surface, as well as something new in our relationship.

As expected, she is tireless in her busy work around the house – everything from cooking basically every meal, doing the laundry, the dishes, and taking care of Ellis (who she is not terribly fond of in the first place), to answering the door, cleaning out the fridge, rubbing my swollen feet during feedings, and just being supportive with the babies – changing diapers, swaddling, washing diapers, and getting up in the middle of the night with me. But, she is also goofy and giggly, even more so with the babies, silly and sings them songs, gives them nicknames, tells them stories, and covers them with kisses. I think if I let her she would constantly be holding one of them all day long. I have loved seeing this in her, and her relationship with them.

Some lessons and thoughts:

  1. She will always be my mom, and I her daughter. So, it’s natural that when I was puking up the juice I had guzzled shortly after the surgery, she was in tears worried about her baby girl.

  2. Even if she can’t remember all the specifics about my birth or the early months of my life or my brother’s life (though she has come up with some new and funny stories), she still has a wonderful instinct towards mothering…so much has come back to her, and she is teaching me a great deal.

  3. Parenthood is some kind of a spiritual discipline, and my mom has cultivated so diligently – her faith shines so brightly.

We are so different…and yet, there is so much of her I see already surfacing in me, too. What I need the most is a healthy dose of her selflessness and long-suffering – there has not been one word of complaint or expectation, she justs put up with my bossy, bratty self, and all my hormonal ebbs and flows. But, I think what I love the most is seeing that no matter what, she loves being a mom, and now a grandmother…

Anna with her halmunee